TV Gone Wrong - Happy Days

How good are you at Happy Days trivia? Even the most hardcore fan may be unaware of the "Lost Episode." Apparently, late in the life of the series, ABC decided to go a whole new direction with the show. They employed a most controversial tactic in order to bring in a larger audience. Once the episode was in the can, the producers realized they'd made a terrible mistake and burned the film. Only these few minutes were salvaged. Enjoy.

Clips from: The Lost Episode

"This abomination was filmed before a live studio audience."

The episode opens in the Cunningham household. Typical 1950's scene of two wholesome teenagers - Richie and Joanie - sitting on a couch in a living room. They are both very high spirited and oh, so lilly white. Their father, Mr. C, reads his newspaper on the chair next to them.

RICHIE - I'm just waiting for the right person, that's all.
JOANIE - No. You just can't get a date.
(audience laughter)
RICHIE - I'll kill you. I'll kill you in your sleep. I swear.
MR. C - Oh, stop it, you two. By the way, where's your mother?

Where is Mrs. Cunningham?
a) Drunk and passed out.
b) Making gravy
c) Unclogging the drain
d) All of the above in Fonzie's bed upstairs.

Richie and Joanie continue to argue. There is a knock at the front door and it swings open. Chachi struts into the room.

CHACHI - Hey everybody! Wa wa wa.

("Live" studio audience laughter and cheers)
Joanie jumps off the couch and runs to him.

JOANIE - Hi Chachi. I have something I need to tell you.
CHACHI - Yeah? And what's that?
JOANIE - I'm having your baby.

How does Chachi respond?
a) "Wa Wa Wa."
b) "It's not my kid. It could be Potsie's or Ralph Malph's or even Al's. We all took turns that night, remember?"

Enter the Fonz. He walks in wearing a ratty old leather jacket and looking cool. He is a grown man living in a room above his best friend's house. That's cool.

FONZ - Aaaaayh!!

(Cheers and spontaneous laughter from "Live Studio Audience")

MR. C - Doesn't anyone knock anymore?
(audience laughter).
FONZ - Hey. Sorry Mr. C. I had to come down here for something.

What did Fonz come down for?
a) Milk.
b) To club Joanie over the head and drag her body upstairs.
c) To rob the place.
d) Looking for his "Lucky Syringe"

JOANIE - Fonz! I'm pregnant.
FONZ - Aaaaayh. It's not mine, Shortcake.
JOANIE - Probably not. I think it's Chachie's.
FONZ - Chachie's? Yo, Chachie! What did I tell you?

What did Fonz tell Chachie?
a) "Pull out first."
b) "Never tell her the condom broke."
c) "Missing dead chicks can't get a DNA test."

- Pause the show -

Quick! You've been put in charge of Happy Days. As the producer, it's time to make some changes!

1. Ratings are down. How do you get the show back into the Number One slot again?
a) Bring in a retarded alien played by a mediocre hack comedian for a couple of episodes.
b) Have Fonzie jump a motorcycle over a bunch of sharks
c) Feature a couple of lesbian whores that live together and work in a Milwaukee brewery.

2. Henry Winkler (Fonzie) is hitting on Erin Moran (Joanie) in the dressing room. He's becoming too aggressive. As the producer, how do you handle the situation?
a) Tell Henry Winkler to back off
b) Let them work it out themselves.
c) Ask Henry Winkler to wait another ten years until she's 18.

3. Ron Howard (Richie) wants more money or he's leaving the show. How do you handle the contract dispute?
a) Ask him if he remembers Chuck Cunningham. Who? Exactly.
b) Kill him off. Have a "Very Special Episode" where Fonz stabs him in the alley behind Arnold's, take his money and runs off. "Aaaayh!"
c) Replace him with Clint Howard.

-Unpause-

The final scene of the episode opens with Richie and Fonz standing outside on the porch in the evening. Fonzie is smoking a cigarette.

FONZIE - Hey, Richie. Let's go up to Inspiration Point.
RICHIE - Oh, sit on it , Fonzie! We could've had a good life together. Had us a place of our own. But you didn't want it, Fonz. So what we got now is Inspiration Point. Everything's built on that! That's all we got. I wish I knew how to quit you.
FONZIE - (crying) Well, why don't you? Why don't you just let me be? It's because of you that I'm like this! I ain't got nothing...I ain't nowhere... Get off me! I can't stand being like this no more, Richie.
RICHIE - Inspiration Point got us good, don't it?
FONZIE - Correctamundo.


Your favorite episode?

a) "The Card Game" - Richie loses all his money at poker and his Dad has to bail him out.

b) "Richie Gets Drunk" - Richie has too much to drink and learns a hard lesson about underage drinking.

c) "A NARC's Life" - The cops bust Fonzie for selling crack. To get rid of the evidence, Fonzie makes Potsie eat it. Funny scene of Anson Williams (Potsie) flailing around on the floor and foaming at the mouth during a seizure. Made funnier by the fact that the cast switched out the prop with REAL crack as a goof. Hilarious!

d) "Liquor? I hardly know her." - Arnold's Drive-In loses its liquor license after Fonz gets piss-drunk and sexually assaults the jukebox.

e "Ralph's Vagina" - The boys play a practical joke on the King of Practical Jokes himself - Ralph Malph. When Ralph visits the hospital to get his Appendix removed, the boys switch his medical chart. Ralph loses his penis, but not his sense of humor!

f) "ABC Cancels Happy Days a Wee Bit Too Late" - My favorite episode ever.